Eight glasses: Day 1

I don’t normally make resolutions. There’s pretty much only one I make every year. Drink more water. Specifically, down eight glasses of water a day, the equivalent of 2 quarts. How hard could that be?

Not that hard. Just as it’s not that difficult to run a 5K, scrub the toilet, or roll your r’s when you’re speaking Spanish to your poodle, Humberrrrrrto. Like everything, it merely takes commitment, attention, follow-through. Once you commit to drinking eight glasses of water a day for one week, you must pay attention to how much and when you’re drinking, followed by either keeping it up or drinking more. It’s summer. Water’s cold, goes well with fruit, cucumber, tea. Easy peasy, yeah?

Day 1: It’s 3:03 pm and I’ve had 4 cups so far. I fetch my bottle and fill it with chilled, filtered H2O. It’s the first time ever that I’ve owned a refrigerator with a water dispenser, and, in this aspect of my life, I feel as if I’ve arrived. “You’ll never get anywhere with that mouth of yours,” my fifth grade P.E. teacher, Mr. Newtown, once told me. How do you like me now, Mr. Newtown? Looks like this mouth of mine has gotten me an awesome fridge. I should also mention that I love my water bottle– clear glass wrapped in a pearl-white silicone sleeve. I’ve been Googling the metric conversion of 600 ml, which is what my 22 oz glass water bottle holds. Isn’t Google such a crazy paradox? It saves so much time referencing such conversions, yet it wastes so much in enabling us to do so.

In the evening before dinner, I tally my intake. Two bottles = 5 cups + 1 cup juice with ice + ½ cup water gulped before tripping out the door for an early-morning run. Crap, I’m still down 1½ cups, which I sip between dinner and bedtime. I call Day 1 a success.

The results I imagine:
better digestion
cooler body temperature
weight loss
energy
speed
beauty
world domination

The actual results:
An urge wakes me at midnight. I proceed to re-create the bladder-evacuation scene from the original Austin Powers. Those late-nights when you’re camping and you have to leave the warm tent, and you’re in an awkward position for what seems like forever because your bladder never seems to fully empty itself? Yep, that.

Note to self: Start guzzling sooner tomorrow.

[Posted in response to Literary Lion’s “water” prompt]

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13 thoughts on “Eight glasses: Day 1

  1. Haha, fabulous, this made me giggle. Google is a ridiculous paradox, you’re right, I don’t know why I’ve never thought about that before…

    I often try and drink this much water, and I to am running to the toilet a lot, there doesn’t seem to be a way of training the bladder.

    P.S… is there a secret to learning how to roll the Spanish r’s? I have never been able to do it, so my Spanish always feels awful.

    1. My recommendations for r rolling:
      Start by making the raspberry sound /Users/Ann/Desktop/33024.jpeg
      Then move your tongue to the roof of your mouth and attempt the raspberry on your hard palate. Keep trying. I couldn’t do it. I tried and tried one day and went to bed frustrated. When I woke in the morning, I could do it. It was as if my brain had been working it out all night.

      1. Amazing, thank you, I will try it. I’ve done it once, and I was the same, it just happened all of a sudden when I was trying to say the same Spanish word I could never pronounce properly (you should have seen my face when I did it, it was like something alien had popped out of my mouth), but I never could do it again. Hopefully this will be the start of much tongue rolling.

  2. I can just see (hear) you talking to your poodle! Yes, that’s a problem with water consumption. I have a medical condition that causes swelling/edema. I once had a doctor accuse me of drinking 64 ounces or more of water a day and saying that it causes the swelling! Needless to say, I didn’t go back to her.

    1. I’ve had some great doctors. But there have been a couple about whom I’ve wondered. Did they realize when they went into medicine that they would actually have to interact with real, live people?

  3. Such a witty piece! I love drinking water, and hate it all the same, especially when I’m running to the bathroom every 20 minutes! On a side note, my 10th grade Spanish teacher taught us a little dirty trick on rolling our r’s— say “butter up” really fast over and over.

  4. I try to drink more water, like you, but unless I set a timer and don’t get distracted by the kids when it needs to be reset I still don’t get enough water in me. lol Props to you!

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