Halloween on Sirretta Street

On Sirretta Street, you’d better be prepared to participate. Costumes optional, but recommended. Ukelele and zombie painting totally bonus!

Just as theater in New York has its Broadway, Off-Broadway, and Off-Off-Broadway, so does Halloween in Kernville have its Sirretta, Off-Sirretta, and Off-Off-Sirretta. In Kernville, though, when you live off-off-Sirretta, you’re nobody. You might as well go bowling, because the only candy you’ll be handing out is to relatives who feel sorry for you. When you live on Sirretta Street, on the other hand, you had better be prepared. You better have candy, and you better have lots of it. Otherwise, off with your lights, and hide deep within the bowels of your home, preferably in a room without windows. Seriously, when we lived on Sirretta, we purchased at least a dozen large bags of sweets, we invited friends over for “adult cocoa,” and we took turns opening the door to dole out treats. “Can we bring anything?” friends would ask. “Candy,” we replied. “Bring candy.”

Costumed children and their stroller-pushing, car-key-pocketed entourages start to trickle onto Sirretta as early as 5, when it’s still light out. Full-throttle trick-or-treat occurs between 7 and 7:30. By then, we would have finished off the first twelve bags of candy– one piece per child, mind you– and we’d be dipping into the reserve tank brought by friends. We’d usually go dark by 8, sometimes 7:45.

Now that we live just off-Sirretta, we have cut our candy outflow by about 40 percent. That probably has something to do with the lack of ghosts, witches, bats, and or carved pumpkins decorating our house and yard. Our neighbors, who erect props, decorations, and lights rivaling the Vegas strip, rake in the treatsters. Now when we run out of Snickers and Paydays and Butterfingers, we go to their house and help them hand out candy, assist in flying their giant mechanical bat, and laugh maniacally behind spider webs. Moo oo ah ah ah ah ah … 

This house, just off Sirretta, has them lined up to experience the thrills and chills of bats and spiders and creepy lawn sprites.

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